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Archive for August, 2011

Round is a Shape, Too!

The subtitle to this post might well be a direct quote from Futurama’s Bender-the-Robot:  “Kiss my shiney metal ass.”  Only my ass isn’t shiny or metal.  It’s fleshy and white and very, VERY broad, and round, and, well, WOMANLY.  And you know what else, my husband loves it…no he ADORES it.

This may come as a big surprise to the media and the thin-is-in world “out there”, but life is packed with a whole bunch of flesh-and-bone men who are not perverted, fetishers or twisted, but good, old-fashioned sweethearts who “like a little cushion in the pushin.”

This page will be dedicated and devoted to celebrating women of size and shapliness.  Thin isn’t a shape, it’s a line.  You have to have curves to have a shape.  Discrimination against the obese and overweight is alive and kickin in this world, and (shamefully, as I will illustrate later) it is not illegal except in (God bless em) Wisconsin.



Every time we camp, it rains.

I know you are probably thinking the title is hyperbolic.  It’s not.  Chad and I have a 100.00 % perfect record.  In 12 years of marriage and about 15 camping trips, it has rained EVERY time.  We tent camped 5 times in the old tent (which seeped at the seams) and it rained every time.  We bought a new, bigger tent.  It rained not only every time we camped in it, but EVERY DAY of every camping trip.

Tent camping is a pain in the ass, at its best.  You have to pack the tent, the bedding, the mess kit, the food (dry and cold) and enough ice to keep it safe for the duration.  If you’re “boondocking” (camping sans electricity and running water) you have to haul in water and batteries, too.  That makes one very loaded down wagon.  Take one mini van, pack in about 400 pounds of gear, add one greenhorn male and one bossy ex-girl scout, six rainy days and stir well.  Recipe for unhappy de jour.

Need I say that my darling hubby, sweetest man on earth, became less than enamored of camping life?  We tried 4 times to camp in that lovely Coleman 3-room tent, but it rained EVERY time.  The tent wasn’t too hard to put up, but since we had to bring it home wet and put it up again to dry out at home, that robbed us of much of the the fun.

We started to look at campers a few years later, thinking that we might, just might enjoy camping a bit more if we could take the tent out of the equation.  After years of tromping through the RV shows, we finally reached the confluence of desire, financial ability and sufficient amnesia of the last wet camping trip to consider actually buying a camper.

It’s funny how much more work an RV show becomes when you are actually planning to purchase.  We must have climbed up the steps of over 100 little trailers.  When we finally realized my Chrysler Pacifica would only tow up to 3000 pounds, that made our available choices prettly limited.  We decided to go for an A-frame popup.  My folks had a canvas popup when I was a teenager.  Suffice it to say I’ll never again sleep in one of those puppies.

That left us to choose between Aliner, Chalet and the other brands, which are all knockoffs of the top two.  Aliner is more plentiful and has dealers close by.  Chalet is better made but the nearest dealer is in North Carolina.  The availability of the installed “shoilet” (my name for the wet bath combo cassette toilet and shower) and slightly better build quality tipped the scales for Chalet.

We drove to Carolina Campers in April, put our names on the lines, and bought our little bitty RV.    We picked it up on a Saturday, and camped that night at a KOA on the way home.

It rained.

We’ve camped 5 times since then, once in a privately-owned “campground” in Pennsylvania, and four times in Virginia state parks.  In every case, it has rained.  Drizzle, drip and drop rain, thunderstorms, “spit” rain, big fat rain, and everything in between, you name it, we’ve had it, and you know what?  We don’t care.  The camper is snug and dry.

Let it rain.  When it pours down, the other campers bug out, and we have peace and quiet.  When it’s time to go home, we break out the Shamwows, wipe down the roof panels, fold up and go home.

So if you’re having a drought, just drop me a line.  Maybe we can work out a deal.  You pay for our gas and time off from work, and we’ll come set up our camper.  I can virtually guarantee you it will rain.

How Apple will take over the free world (or am I paranoid)

I am beginning to think a bit like the Unabomber, except that I really like technology.  So much so that I’m pecking out this post on an HP Touchpad.  Sadly, this will be my last from the beautiful webOS tablet.  It goes back to the barn tomorrow for a full price refund…all $674 for the pad and case.

That brings me to the point of this post.  HP stunned both the tech and business worlds this past Friday with the announcement that they were shunning the consumer market.  CEO Leo Apotheker seemed to blame “it” all on the poor showing of the month-old Touchpad.  It hadn’t sold well, so HP was shuttering the entire webOS line AND all other consumer-oriented products.

It seems Leo doesn’t like dealing with whiney customers.  He came from SAP, didn’t he?  No hardware to return, no warranties….customer service at HP must have been driving him nuts.   Having to actually market the stuff likely boiled his blood.

That’s one possibility.  I think something more sinister may be at work.  Why would HP sell off their consumer business when they are turning a profit?  Could it be because they are being courted by a merger partner that already sells computers and tablets and lots of phones?  Such a merger would only be greatly facilitated by the nosedive HP’s stock took this weekend.

There is a company which:

  • Has tried for years to break into the enterprise market
  • Does not already make servers or write server code
  • Does already make and market millions of phones, laptops and music players
  • Is sitting on enough cash to buy out the National DebtIt all makes too much sense.  Once Apple has HP, then they are inside every major corporation, school and government agency.  With HAPPle servers running the network, why not put an iPad and iPhone in every user’s hands “for efficiency”?  HAPPle will probably offer a helluva bundle deal for its enterprise clients.

    Here’s where I let my paranoia show.  Those iPads and iPhones, with their front-facing cameras, in every office, every home, every bedroom, recording every conversation, make the ultimate opportunity for “Big Brother” to watch over us.

    27 years ago we cheered at the Apple commercial that parodied the movie “Nineteen Eighty Four”, as a girl threw a sledgehammer at the giant screen depicting the face of Big Brother.  By the year 2014, Apple will be well on the way to becoming the very thing they proclaimed themselves to be against.

    To paraphrase:  money corrupts.  Unlimited money corrupts infinitely.

Starfleet Uniforms Don’t Come in Plus Sizes

I’ve been engaging in a marathon attempt to watch all 7 seasons of Star Trek: Voyager.  I’ve been a Trekkie all my life, and it seems that I’ve never seen a fat person in a Starfleet uniform.

Netflix recently added all the episodes of every Star Trek franchise to the streaming selections.  I started with Voyager because Kathryn Janeway is my favorite of all the Starship captains.  I admit that I’m a bit slow on the uptake that it’s taken me until now to observe sizism in the Roddenberry ouvre.

Why in the seven billion names of God would a franchise that so espouses diversity be sizist?  The original Star Trek showed us our first inter-racial kiss.  The original starship Enterprise showed us a crew comprised of black, Anglo, Russian, Asian and Vulcan shipmates all working in “harmony.”  We’ve seen Cardassian work with Betazoid and Klingons learn to work with Romulans.  And yet, the only “fatties” on a star ship are all either the comic relief or universally portrayed as villians.

Starfleet uniforms don’t come in plus sizes.

We’re to assume that being overweight is a disease that has been eliminated, although food replicators can produce ANY food the mind can conceive, from any star system the universe?

I’ve seen some pretty ugly sons-a-bitches on Voyager (the Vidiians are up-chuck fodder) so why should a few love handles be considered unsightly.  Neelix is a bit on the pudge side, but he’s not Starfleet.

Let’s hope that Rick Berman comes up with another Trek franchise, and a few size 20 ensigns enlist.

It’s not just me:  notice these other threads:\

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